Stephen Musoke Senkomago Ramblings of a father, husband, tech lover, amateur poet, book lover, who believes family makes him & culture holds all

This article was initially published on Facebook Notes in 2010, but seems to have been deleted fortunately I found a backup version so publishing it here for the world

The centerpiece of Ganda culture, in-line with other ancient civilizations, Greece, Egypt and Rome, is family; it provides the core support for growth and development of children. Like other African cultures, the Ganda family unit is not nuclear (father, mother and children), but an extended one that includes the relatives of both parents. The Ganda culture, in particular, has also evolved to include ceremonial checks and balances.

To start a family in Kiganda culture, a couple must go through three ceremonies. During which, the girl is represented by her ssenga, usually a sister or cousin to her father and of the same clan, and the boy is also represented by an elder in his family.

The first ceremony is called kukyala, visit, which is arranged by the ssenga, where the bride-to-be shows her kitanyi or future husband, to the ssenga and a few other relatives. The purpose of the ceremony is to enable the young man to officially show his wish to marry the girl and to establish a personal relationship with the ssenga and other family members. Although the kukyala ceremony may take place in the girl’s current home, her parents do not have to be directly involved. Although it is not required, the groom-to-be  may bring gifts for the ssenga and the girl’s family.

The next phase is okwanjula, introduction, where the ssenga officially introduces the boy to the girl’s family and close friends, as the future husband. Baganda do not require that a bride price be paid for the bride. However, it is customary for the groom’s party to bring more gifts to the introduction, and some of the most symbolic include:

• enkoko y’omuko – a chicken for the official brother-in-law.
• omutwalo – a  symbolic bride price gift. It could take several forms depending on the groom’s financial resources. One of the more common ones is a goat (embuzi y’omutwaalo) where the goat metaphorically fills the girl’s bed—giving her no reason to return to her parents’ home.
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• The groom’s parents never attend the kwanjula and the bride’s parents never speak during the ceremony, leaving the job to a representative.  At the end of the ceremony, the parents announce the good news to the community, okubambaga, since the ceremonies, so far, have been close family affairs. The wedding ceremony, embaga, is where the entire community celebrates the union and the addition of a mature couple.

Prior to the wedding, the groom and his party come to the bride’s parent’s home to pick her up and take her to her new home, while preparing for the wedding ceremony. They bring along the kasuze katya token gifts and eat a small breakfast before leaving with the bride.

At the wedding, the groom’s parents set-up a thatched shed or tent for the couple to march around their guests, okudaala daala, hence the ceremonial shade is called ekidaala. The wedding ceremony provides the parents and other members of both families a chance to get to know one another, okumanyagana.

After the wedding, the bride, omugole, spends six days mu kisenge, indoors, in her new home–equivalent to honeymoon. When the husband is outside during these six days, the bride is pampered and counseled about her new family, oluggya, by the female relatives of her husband. On the sixth day, she may return to her parent’s home to brief them about her new life. She goes with her sisters or aunties-in-law, along with gifts of matooke (plantain), a mat, and chickens. In turn, she is usually given a papyrus basket, ekibo, by her family to take back home.

After the bride returns to her new home, the mother-in-law, nyazaala, gives her ekibo containing a number of items that are covered with banana leaves and a cluster of matooke on top, to help her run her new household.  The items include, among other things:

• Knife – to enable her to peel food
• A piece of cloth (akade) – the bride has to now dress decently since her husband has grown-up and can now fit the shoes of his grandfather, father or  elder brother.
• Banana leaves and a cluster of matooke, ekiwagukira – must always has enough food for her husband when he returns from work, even if the rest of the household has already eaten.
• Different types of food – Ensuring that the food always has sauce and vegetables.